بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْم
Sometimes we are caught in a state of emptiness. There’s this hole we feel like we’re missing something, and we will find whatever we can to fill it and so we can feel whole once again. Some of us try to fill that hole by eating. We’ll eat, and eat and eat haha. We’ll even eat beyond our capacity, anything so that we will no longer have the emptiness lingering. And yes, we know. We’re going to see the weight sooner or later. But that’s okay.
Some of us also try to fill that emptiness by seeking validation from others. We want to know that are we prized or at least liked. We want to know that others people find us attractive. So we’ll post countless selfies on Instagram or any other social media website. We want to feel like are we admired like there is something we have, and others want it. And when we know others want what we have, then the feeling of emptiness is partially covered up. Artificially of course. The sense of knowing we are sought after is fulfilling. So the pictures continue. How about with this lighting, this filter, this angle, duck lips or Nah?
Then there are some us that are constantly looking to admire someone or something. There has to be someone we love right now as of this moment. Anything, we just have to love someone. And some of us try to force it, regardless they find forcing never worked. But there has to be someone we find stunning or surprising, someone are hearts would be attached to, at least for the moment. Even if we know we would never have them to ourselves, we don’t mind. They exist in the back of our minds from time to time. It would be the thing that would make life a bit more exciting.
If the whole is deep enough, things get more serious. You’ll find some suffering from addictions, unhealthy relationships, self-harm, etc. But these people never wanted to suffer, they just wanted something that would soothe the pain of the loneliness they felt inside, they wanted a refuge, a place to go when they couldn’t find it anywhere else. They just wanted to numb the pain.
A person will go to fill the emptiness to lengths. And yes, they are aware of the consequence but will to endure it.
This heart of ours knows what it needs. And when it gets what it needs it finds rest. But us we give it doses of this, doses of that, thinking that maybe this thing will bring it happiness and contentment. But it doesn’t. The emptiness is, there and we are only increasing the dose. However lethal it maybe.
Our hearts respond to love. It attracts to unconditional love. It’s attracted to goodness, naturally. Our hearts are made to love, to admire, to adore, to hold on to something. It beats for a reason. Our problem is that we are always finding it attached to the wrong things.
We’re attaching our hearts to things that are finite, and that will eventually come to an end. And when this thing that we love is taken away from us we fall into despair and gloom and utter sadness. We feel there is no more point in our existence because our object of worship is no longer there.
This life is a constant struggle for the nafs because each day the nafs will incline to something that it loves, but perhaps that thing that it loves may compromise the deen. There are millions of false dieties out there, but only one true GOD, Allah Subhaanaahu Wa Taala. But daily the heart is tempted to take something else for worship, daily. Ever wonder why we pray so often, testifying again and again and again. Because it is a reminder to the hearts, that there is no true god worthy of worship except Allah. These prayers serve as a reminder because the hearts need it.
The heart my friends is never stable. You can find yourselves on the Deen one day and the next day you’ll find you’ve gone off track, and you wonder how you got sidetracked so easily. The heart is like night and day, forever flipping back and forth and no one can keep the heart firm except Allah.
Imam Muslim (rahimahullah) has recorded the following narration on the authority of Sayyiduna ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibnul ‘As who reports that he heard Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) say:
“Verily the hearts of all of the children of Adam are under the control of Rahman as one heart, which [Allah Ta’ala] can change as he wills. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) then said,‘Allahumma Musarrifal qulub, sarrif qulubana ‘ala ta’atik’ (O Allah, the Turner of the hearts, turn our hearts to your obedience) (Sahih Muslim, Hadith: 2654)
This is the test of life, to maintain your faith in Allah, daily and to keep the heart sound, so that when you return to Allah, you will return with a pure heart. Nothing will benefit a person on the day of judgment except the individual with a pure heart. (Quran 26:88-89)
But regularly, we faced with situations that are compromising, but our faith in Allah must be the one that prevails.
The emptiness we feel is our hearts telling us that we are missing the remembrance of Allah, our one true God. It is telling us that it is not being used for what it was created for. We have this internal radar system. That whenever we do something bad, we feel guilty even if no one knows about it. But our hearts know. It was something we shouldn’t have done. The heart knows the difference between right and wrong. And our body to give us signs sometimes that tell us, “Hey, stop, what are you doing, this isn’t right..” But foolish us, we don’t listen and proceed instead. We have many mechanisms built into us that tell us, ‘Stop” Like how we feel shy to do something bad especially in front of others, or how we feel this feeling called guilt, or how our hearts race when we in the moment of some criminal activity, small or big. Our hearts telling us, “Hey, stop, I wasn’t meant for this, this is wrong.’
And naturally the heart knows it is missing something. And hence you feel the emptiness. But the heart, just wants to do what her Lord created her to do, to worship him. It was commanded to do, to stay away from the prohibitions, etc.
And we know how good our hearts feel after we’ve done good deeds, how sound and complete we feel Sometimes we feel like flying from happiness. We can do something so small, and bring a smile to someone’s face and just from that our hearts feel great.
The heart just wants to do good things really. Instead of us always taking from others and expecting from others, the heart wishes to give and give and give, and those are things that bring wholeness to the heart, not emptiness. Give and we feel complete, seek and that is proof of our emptiness, but hardly finding brings the wholesomeness.
Next time we feel emptiness, we should try to do something good for others or ourselves, our families, our friends. It can be as simple as listening to a friend in distress, or remembering to get something for your little sister when you go shopping, or going for a walk with your mother. Or try to do something for yourself, like going to sleep early and waking early to pray Qiyaam. Or by exercising and maintaining the health of your body. Just anything to keep you busy and happy. Work on your self-growth, learn a new skill or invest in the capabilities and talents you’ve been given to benefit others. Be sure you are always in a state of giving and try your best not to be always in the state of seeking.
If our hearts don’t feel satisfied, we should listen to it. It knows more than we think.I
I ask Allah to preserve us and keep us steadfast. ☺
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